Holiday Blues
Our church family has sustained more than our share of group and individual loss this past year. I wrote about holiday blues in 2010, but I think it is useful to look at again. OCUUC said good-bye to a beloved minister with the retirement of Karen Stoyanoff and has dealt with the deaths of several long-time church members. We also have members with some very serious illnesses. Sometimes we forget that illness and injury are losses too, of our good health. Whether present or past, this season can bring all these losses up with a vengeance. Someone has said, “Loss is like a scar: It will heal over, but it will also leave a mark.”
It is important to be sensitive to those who may find this a stressful period, and if you are one of these folks, to know that you are not alone.
All losses and potential losses count. How can you be full of cheer if jobless and in fear of worse? Events that happen from time to time in all our lives make celebration tougher: illness, death of a loved one, perhaps a separation or divorce.
The holidays accentuate these feelings of loss or loneliness because of ours and others’ expectations, and anxiety about the future. I think the “other’s expectations” part is key. You should be able to share your feelings of loss with those who are close to you and scale down the festivities to something you are comfortable with. This is a time when being with family and friends can be an enormous help, as long as they are sensitive to your feelings.
One way through all this is to try to look for the joy in the present moment and to be with people who lift you up rather than drag you down. The OCUUC community is one where I have always found the love, caring and support to be very special. You already know who the folks are who make you feel good just when you see them or hear their voice. Try to be in their company. Think about the places that have always made you feel good or at peace and seek them out. I find there is nothing like a walk on the beach or at the marsh to make me feel better. Don’t forget that activity is a wonderful antidepressant and anti-anxiety tool!
It is important to be able to separate holiday blues from clinical depression. If you have been feeling an overall disinterest with your life prior to this holiday season, then you should be evaluated by a mental health professional. Call the NAMI WARMLINE, 1-877-910-WARM (9276) or 714- 544-8488, 8 a.m. to midnight daily.
If you already suffer from depression, keep supportive family and friends close during the holiday season. This can be a tough time and you should lean on all the people you can, to get you through it. I have some Tips for Handling the Holiday Blues available at the Caring Table, or I would be happy to send them to you.
I take this opportunity to wish you the brightest 2012,
Adair Small, Congregation Nurse
nurse
ocuuc
org (nurseocuucorg)
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